On watching this film a long, LONG time after having first seen it, I realise just how terrible it is – in every sense, this film is a joke. Will Smith, normally the one saving grace in any terrible film (just look at Hancock) can’t even rescue this one.
Jim West (Smith) is appointed by President Grant (Kline) to flush out the conspiracy and uprising against his forces in post-civil War America – West is partnered with the zany inventor Artemus Gordon (Kline) and together they search for the figurehead behind the whisperings of rebellion – legless Arliss Loveless (Branagh) and his army aid General McGrath (Levine).
Will Smith and Kevin Kline have to spearhead the film, and they try their best – it’s just not good enough. Smith, Kline and Branagh are the clear male stars, and each of them are terrible in their own special ways. Smith plays up his ‘Big Willy’ persona and takes it back to the frontier days, with the cocky, smart-ass attitude not really working. Kline plays both Artimus Gordon and President Grant, and neither role is really that good for the actor, who seems uncomfortable in a big budget film. Branagh is probably the worst movie villain of all time – his racist, paraplegic character Loveless is a total joke, and it’s so ridiculous to think that the man beneath the performance has been the foremost adaptor of Shakespeare. Unbelievable yet true, Branagh just makes you cringe every second he’s onscreen. Why he, Smith or Kline ever thought this would be a good decision is totally beyond me.
Ted Levine was the serial killer Jame Gumb in Silence of the Lambs seven years previous to this film – a performance that he was acclaimed for, and for which many people will fondly remember him. Why in the hell he would want to lower himself to playing such a ridiculous caricature as he does here? His army general is the lowest of the low, a dim-witted idiot who serves as the secondary villain to Branagh, and…it’s just stupid. A talented actor playing a one-dimensional character is always a shame.
Salma Hayek plays a woman rescued by the duo who has her own motivations, and the actress is really only in the movie as a feisty piece of eye candy for the two to fight over. Whilst her story’s conclusion is a nice little change from the usual, it does nothing to make her performance any better, or any less ridiculous. The other women represented are the henchwomen to Loveless – a bunch of women chosen for their looks, and not acting ability. Need I say more?
Barry Sonnenfeld made Men In Black with Will Smith – and then this. Why he would is anyone’s guess, because this film bastardises the television show it’s adapted from, and is in every directorial sense (other than the effects) a joke. The dialogue, much like the rest of this waste of space, is truly bad. From Branagh’s racist epithets toward Smith, onto Smith’s woefully bad innuendoes, and Kline’s boffin talk, the script is a bad, bad joke.The music is alright – it takes the theme from the show, and presents a Western, action-style soundtrack that is indicative of Elmer Bernstein. It’s a shame such an esteemed composer has his music set along to such a terrible movie.The only, ONLY area of the movie that has any merit – the CGI is actually good throughout, referencing steam-punk and maintaining the film’s burnished, outdoors look. The stunts are also quite excellently done, and once again, it just makes me sad to think that all these people worked so hard for a film that forsakes everything good done for it.
I am ashamed to have bought this film – really, truthfully and honestly ashamed. Don’t watch it if you haven’t seen it, save yourself time that could be better spent watching a good movie or doing ANYTHING else!
0/10
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